improve the flow of the message a bit

1 files changed, 5 insertions, 3 deletions

diff --git a/assets/home.html b/assets/home.html
index 773ca53c5..7ea2c400c 100644
--- a/assets/home.html
+++ b/assets/home.html
@@ -41,7 +41,9 @@ The internet is broken. We're fixing it.</div>
 </div>
 
 <div id="intro-text">
-<p>Imagine an internet slightly different than what we have today. Imagine if you had an internet where the people using it could <b>create new services</b> and <b>communicate freely and privately</b> - and where you didn't need a different account on every website in the network in order to use each website. Where you had your own space and could <b>share anything you wanted</b> with anybody you wanted, any time you wanted. Where the <b>things you share in private stay private</b> instead of being under constant surveillance from advertising corporations and government intelligence agencies.
+<p>Imagine an internet slightly different than what we have today. The internet of the future won't require logging in with passwords on every site you wish to access. It will just know who you are. An internet where you need to keep track of hundreds/thousands of passwords on hundreds/thousands of websites is fundamentally broken. But an internet with no privacy and where all your online activities are monitored and tracked is likewise broken.
+</p>
+<p>Imagine if you had an internet where the people using it could <b>create new services</b> and <b>communicate freely and privately</b> - and where you didn't need a different account on every website in the network in order to use each website. Where you had your own space and could <b>share anything you wanted</b> with anybody you wanted, any time you wanted. Where the <b>things you share in private stay private</b> instead of being under constant surveillance from advertising corporations and government intelligence agencies.
 </p>
 </div>
 
@@ -111,7 +113,7 @@ The internet is broken. We're fixing it.</div>
 <div class="section-heading">Decentralise. Build a more robust network.</div>
 <div class="section-text">
 <p>
-Now open your eyes. We've done some amazing things with decentralisation technology over the last few years and have created a different kind of network. We call it the Red Matrix. Forget the old internet - it's hopelessly broken and increasingly being choked off in order to take your money and spy on you.
+Now open your eyes. We've done some amazing things with decentralisation technology over the last few years and have created a different kind of network. We call it the Red Matrix. Forget the old internet - it's hopelessly broken and increasingly being choked off in order to take your money and spy on you. We're building tomorrow's internet today. And we're doing things a bit differently than what you may be used to. We could wait for this new internet to be built, but we don't really trust the typical corporations and governmental bodies to do it right. So we're building it on top of the old internet. And we're building privacy into its DNA. And it's here now.  
 </p>
 <p>
 The Red Matrix is a decentralised network where <strong>people</strong> are in charge and the size of your server farm and wealth do not offer any comparable advantage. Anybody may participate on a level playing field. Cloud storage, file sharing, communications, content creation and management belong to <strong>everybody</strong> and can be shared with <strong>anybody</strong> (or <strong>somebody</strong>, or <strong>nobody</strong>). This is only a representative sample of the services we plan to offer. In an internet where creativity is allowed to flourish and corporate overlords have no power, the door is open to entirely new forms of expression and applications. The Red Matrix software is free and open source; created by volunteers and distributed under the MIT license. 
@@ -156,7 +158,7 @@ As you browse the matrix viewing channels and their unique content, you are seam
 Zot's identity layer allows you to provide fine-grained permissions to any content you wish to publish - and these permissions extend across the Red Matrix. This is like having one super huge website made up of an army of small individual websites - and where each channel in the matrix can completely control their privacy and sharing preferences for any web resources they create.
 </p>
 <p>
-Example: you want a photo to be visible to your family and three select friends, but not your work colleagues. In the matrix this is easy. <strong>Even if your family members, work colleagues, and friends have accounts on different hubs.</strong>
+Example: you want a photo to be visible to your family and three select friends, but not your work colleagues. In the matrix this is easy. <strong>Even if your family members, work colleagues, and friends all have accounts on different hubs.</strong>
 </p>
 <p>
 Currently the matrix supports communications, photo albums, events, and files. This will be extended in the future to provide content management services (web pages) and cloud storage facilities such as WebDAV and multi-media libraries. Every object and how it is shared and with whom is completely <strong>under your control</strong>.